“Finding your tribe is about surrounding yourself with people who pull out the magic in you, support you unconditionally, and make you feel truly alive!”
On the night my husband moved out, I felt a sense of uncertainty, but I also embraced the opportunity for change. I started with cocktails as I packed up his belongings, instead of dwelling on sadness or anger, I found myself in a state of numbness that allowed me to reflect.
In the midst of this transition, my neighbor Julie, whom I had always enjoyed chatting with at the pool, became an unexpected source of support. I often wonder what prompted me to reach out to her that night, but deep down, I believe it was fate guiding me. She turned out to be exactly who I needed, not only then but also for my future journeys.
Meadow Glen Pool Club
With Julie came Becca, Patricia, and their wonderful husbands Matt, Mike, and Marvin. New friendships blossomed, and I was thrilled to have a few guys around to lend a helping hand whenever that honey-do list needed a man’s touch or a strong boost!
SRVAM I started swimming again for my health both mental and physical and found the best people to do it with.
When Hunter left for college, I told myself it was time to get back in the water. I knew I’d have more time on my hands, and swimming had always been a place where I could clear my head and reset mentally.
So I joined Masters—what used to be my kids’ swim team, but now my own. I thought I was signing up for exercise and a little peace of mind. What I didn’t expect was everything else that came with it.
Somewhere between the laps and early mornings, I found not just myself again, but a community—an incredible group of friends who’ve made this journey even more meaningful than I ever imagined.
Shine San Ramon Dance Fitness
One day, while scrolling through the San Ramon Patch, I came across an ad for a new exercise class called Shine. It was a dance class set to fun, upbeat music, and I thought—why not?
That first class was in a small room, hotter than you can imagine—but it was so much fun. And the women? So welcoming, so kind. I was hooked.
What I didn’t realize then was how much this group of women would come to mean to me. Over the next two years—through one of the biggest roller coasters of my life—they didn’t just lift me up, they helped hold me together.
From Wonder Woman week, when Julie found out I was going through a separation… to my first birthday on my own, when Julie, Susan, and Gail took me out to dinner… to my injury, when they showed up with meals and constant check-ins.
Who knew a random article about an exercise class would lead me to more friendship, more support, and more family—adding something so special to my already growing tribe.
These are just some of the people I’ve added to my family over the past two years. I’m so grateful for each and every one of them.
I’m also incredibly lucky to have so many longtime friends and family who have been my rocks through this transition—I’ll be honoring all of you in my next post.
To everyone in my life: I love you for so many reasons, but mostly for being exactly who you are and for the unique light you each bring into my world. 🤍
The first few months after separation went by in a blur, I didn’t know what I was doing or how to navigate life. I kept myself busy so I could pretend nothing had really changed but then at night when the house was quiet and it was just me and the dogs, I felt lost. I had nights where I would cry myself to sleep and mornings I would be in tears and would force myself to get up and get through my day. The house felt different no longer a home where I was a wife and mom and I didn’t know how to make sense of it, however I also noticed I felt less alone in my home than I did before. I was suddenly spending all my time in the front room again when I had been alone in my bedroom for what felt like years. Looking around the house I suddenly realized so much of me had been lost in the feel of the home. While yes I had decorated it and placed most items where they were it just didn’t feel like me. One night my friend and I were having drinks and she mentions how dark the front room looks and feels and she was right as I look around I realized it was dark, Grey walls dark furniture a couch I had hated for a long time but never got rid of cause why I wasn’t really sitting on it anyways. Now what????
By this time most of his items were gone and the house was filled with leftover memories of what my life once was so I decided it was time for some change. First I needed to change up some of the memories of what once was, I didn’t want to forget the past because we had some amazing memories that I will always cherish, however I didn’t need them all front and center, so some things went in a closet or in another room, others got packed away to figure out what to do later and some were old and it was time for them to go.
After I cleaned up the memories it was time to start room by room and make the home a new place to live, not where the past was forgotten but where I saw light in the future. So, I started in the front room with a fresh coat of paint, white walls nice and bright and fresh, then some new furniture the couch came first as the old one had bad memories and visions still attached to it. Then time for less clutter, no more overflowing bookshelves or completed Lego’s taking up space, it was a new canvas where I was the artist and it was exciting. I built new shelves and tables to accent my new couches, then I added some “girly” pieces as some might call them, but I like to think of it as splashes of me. I changed out pictures and frames to add color and I selected new pictures of memories I wanted to be surrounded by each day. The old dark grey room now felt light and bright and mine.
While I was happy and excited with the new space it was still hard to wrap my head around all the changes and accept the fact that from here on out my life was going to be different and I had no idea what the future would hold. So, while I loved it and enjoyed being in my new space it was all my heart could handle at the time, So I took a deep breath looked around at what I had accomplished was proud of myself but also knew the rest would have to happen at another time, first I had to reflect on where I was now and see what was to come next…..
Now that My life has completely changed, I decided to revamp my old blog where I shared my family’s meals and my recipes to reflect what my new life is like.
Hunter left for college in August of 2022 and while that was a big change I had no Idea what life had instore for me. Unfortunately, mine and Greg’s marriage didn’t withstand this big change, and we decided to live our lives apart. After being together for nearly 30 years this was definitely a shock and a change and luckily with my fantastic therapist, I was able to deal with this new reality and navigate through this drastic change with a positive outlook on my future. Now let’s be realistic it’s not all rainbow and roses; life can be hard and throws you some curve balls but I’m learning to take the good with the bad and the ugly with the beautiful.
The first 6 months were hell, and I had no idea what I was doing or how to do it on my own, but I was lucky to find some fantastic new friends who helped me immensely and of course my I have the love and support from my very close family and long times friends as well. There were days I would cry and not get out of bed and then there were days I was realizing how unhappy I had been and that this was for the best, shoot almost 2 years later and I still have these kids of days.
Then of course when I think my life is starting to get better and a little more on track I fell and broke my elbow in April 2025 and had to learn how to do all of that on my own and unfortunately, I felt all alone again. Luckily again my friends and family showed me their love and combined that with my own strength, and I was able to work hard and heal faster than anyone else with this same injury (my surgeons words not mine) what is usually a 10-16-month recovery I was already doing much better in 4 months and was back in the pool with my team by August.
Now it’s 2026 and it’s time for the year of the horse, the year of independence, intensity and creativity I’m shedding my skin after the year of the Snake to see what this next chapter in my life is going to look and feel like. I know I will have good days and bad like all is life, but I’m committed to doing anything and everything to live a full and happy life, and as the zodiac says a dynamic and powerful year!!
The Next Chapter 